Bravery

This post is inspired by my incredible and courageous sister, Zoe, and her wonderful wife, Bridie. I spoke with them recently and left the conversation thinking about how brave and kick ass they both are. 

Zoe is in a very successful band called Cub Sport and performs regularly in front of large audiences. She often does media appearances, and deals with many professionals in the music industry. Cub Sport lovingly fly the flag for queerness, focussing strongly on spreading love and personal freedom, as well as blazing the trail with their own avant-garde flare for style and fashion. 

Bridie works in legal policy. She is the warrior in the background formulating government legislation. She recently had an opportunity to sit on a panel and take questions from politicians with the intention of pushing through a bill her team has been working on for over a year. 

Bravery comes in so many forms, and I started thinking about what bravery means to me.

Here are some random things that I came up with: 

• Speaking your truth when someone else has a different opinion.
• Not doing something when you feel pressure to, and it doesn’t feel right to you.
• Coming out to your parents, friends, or family as being queer.
• Establishing boundaries with the people in your life. 
• Telling somebody how much you love and appreciate them.
• Failing at something and continuing to keep trying, anyway. 
• Admitting you were wrong.
• Admitting you hurt someone and apologizing.
• Saying no when you feel you should say yes. 
• Saying yes when it scares you but you feel deep down you want to do it.
• Asking for your needs to be met in your relationship. 
• Telling your partner it makes you feel loved when they exhibit a certain behaviour. 

But what is the point of challenging ourselves in this way?

Being brave often feels a bit scary... And there is risk involved. What might happen in our lives if we decide to follow these feelings that beckon to us from outside our comfort zones? 

Might I lose this friendship if I lay down some boundaries?

Might my partner leave me if I tell them I need more from them? 

Will I look silly, for taking part in this activity that I have never tried before? 

I believe taking risks is the price we pay for the life of our dreams. We have to fight for what we want; and we have to be brave.

I want to take this moment to shine a big sparkly light on one of my biggest inspirations; my younger sister, Zoe. 

Zoe has been such an incredible example of bravery for me over the years.

In school, she went through many different style changes, probably not all of which were cool at the time (sorry Zo!) and she didn’t let that phase her. 

She fought to play on the soccer team with the boys at school even though there were no girls on the team. 

She allowed herself to explore her queerness, with the heat of a religious community breathing down her neck, and telling her she was wrong. 

She joined her band just out of school and would play gigs to an audience that consisted mostly of family.

Cub Sport has steadily grown over 10 years and has now exploded onto the global music scene. In the last year these self managed angels have carried themselves to incredible success. Earlier this year attending the Grammy Awards, and also receiving 3 Aria nominations for 2023( in case you were wondering - yes they are amazing!). 

I have always wondered how Zoe seems to be so unashamedly herself, and how she doesn’t appear to concern herself with other people’s opinions of her…

After observing her more as an adult though, I don’t think that is completely true…

Zoe has insecurities. We all have insecurities. The difference with Zoe, is that she doesn’t let ‘fear’ stop her. 

I believe this has been the catalyst for the place she is in now. 

Cub Sport openly celebrates and advocates for owning your queerness, and as you might imagine, they are sometimes faced with negative comments and ‘hate mail’ that honestly feels sickening to hear. I have been surprised by Zoe’s gracious attitude to these remarks. I believe she has such an unwavering belief in herself, and what she and the band represent, that these comments and retaliations somehow fall by the wayside. 

That takes a lot of courage.

To me, bravery is building such a strong structure within yourself that no matter how loud the wind whips and howls outside, that house ain’t comin’ down. Because your ultimate loyalty is to yourself. 

There are so many things in the world that can stop us living the way we want to, if we let them; and I’d predict the opinions of others are pretty high on that list. 

So let’s build those internal structures strong.

Let’s get clear about the things that mean something to us.

Let’s practice listening to ourselves, instead of taking society’s advice on what we should do or who we should be. 

When I stand in the audience of hundreds with outstretched hands, and look up at my sister, shining like a bright light on stage; I am filled with pride. 

I am proud of her for following her heart; for truly living the life of her dreams.

And I am proud of her for being brave.

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